At this point you may be completely overwhelmed wondering how you could find the time to figure out next steps. I once believed I couldn’t possibly find one hour in the day to give to myself. And when I did, I didn’t know what to do with it. The first time I hired a babysitter, I went to Starbucks and ended up taking a nap in the parking lot in the back of my car. I never even made it in for a coffee. This is what burnout look like people.
You won’t magically find time. You have to start cutting things and prioritizing yourself, and it may feel uncomfortable at first – beliefs will come up that have kept you from taking this time, which is how you got here in the first place. One of mine was that it was selfish to take time away from my children. But there are four of them and their needs and requests were endless. If every time I wanted to sit down with a book I did another load of dishes or laundry or accepted their request to play a game, I would remain in that loop forever. Those things are endless and never go away. You must delay them.
Another feeling that nagged at me was that if I had the privilege of free time I should be using it to serve others either through volunteering or working. Those things are important, but when you are already running on empty, they aren’t realistic. You can’t pour from an empty cup. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and you are the only one in control of how you spend your time. We all have things we must do, but we also have a lot of shoulds that don’t necessarily need to be there. Make sure you know the difference.
Out of desperation to create time, I went on a journey of no. I wrapped up all the must dos that I could. I kept my commitments to others, but didn’t renew them. I said no to new requests in every area that I could, and I tuned out the shoulds for a season so I could get quiet enough to figure out what was next for me. I basically acted as if I was sick, and treated myself as someone who needed to heal and recover. I encourage clients to see themselves this way, because the truth is, if you don’t proactively do some of this, you will end up sick in some form.
Say a few nos and see how it feels. What comes up for you? Guilt? If so, try to figure out why. Get quiet and ask the hard questions. You are a person worthy of your own time. Rest does not have to be earned. Have the confidence to live counter-culturally and refuse the hustle. I promise you won’t regret it.
Don't Let It Be You! 